The Value of an Apology

When someone offends you do you request an apology from them? Does it depend on how offend you are?

Some people believe that the only way for you to know that you wronged them is to apologize. Otherwise, even if your actions change it doesn’t represent your regret of hurting their feelings. They cannot move on from the problem, or at least move on and have a good relationship with you unless you say you’re sorry.

People who request apologies can come off as wanting control and dominance. You hurt them so now they must gain control of the situation by forcing you to say sorry. When you ask for an apology it takes away the sincerity of it.

It doesn’t mean you can’t be apologetic about how you offended them. When someone ask you for an apology it obviously shows that you offended them. And you could have not meant to offend them. But when you ask for an apology you take away the offender’s ability to show how they understand your feelings.

when people request apologies it reminds me of God’s love. God doesn’t demand that we love him. Because if God demanded love then it wouldn’t be real love. God simply shows us how he loves us and we choose to reciprocate that love.

When somebody wrongs you, the best you can do is tell that person how you feel and leave it at that. If they choose to apologize, great. But those are just words. Their actions have to follow their apology.

They may say that they hear you and understand your feelings and leave it at that. It’s not a formal apology, but it is acknowledging how you feel and they can choose to react positively or negatively to your feelings.

If I’m truly sorry for offending you then I will tell you I apologize for it, or I’ll say I didn’t mean it, or I’ll show you through my actions by not doing it again.

When you receive a gift that you asked for and receive a gift you didn’t ask for (but want equally), which one are you more excited about? I’d say you’d be more excited about the gift you didn’t ask for because its like this person knows you without having to tell them. You get a gift that you asked for then it shows that the person listened to you, but it wasn’t their original idea. The gift isn’t as authentic as something they thought of on their own.

so the next time you have conflict just tell the person how you feel and let it go. Expressing your feelings is all the closure you need. Whatever happens after that determines how much the value you.