I always celebrated Fathers Day because I always had my father in my life, but this is the first time I celebrate for myself. It feels good to be a father despite the challenges.
It’s especially a good holiday because my wife gave me the day off from daddy duty and cooked me dinner. Having a woman cook dinner for you because she appreciates you as a father is much better than any restaurant.
This holiday is also more special for me because I’m a Black father. There are many negative stereotypes of Black fathers and I strive to defy them. I can’t stress the importance of Black kids growing up with their fathers in their life.
Mothers obviously have their importance, but its the father figures that keep children out of trouble and on the right path. All these gangsters running around committing crimes and women out here having no idea how to attract a decent man is simply because they didn’t have a father figure in their life. I’m sure they all had loving mothers, but it’s the father that sets the authority.
For every Fathers Day sermon my Pastor talks about how he started to get in trouble when his parents divorced and his father wasn’t in the home. I think about the friends I grew up with and how different their lives might have been if they had a father in their life.
One of my childhood friends at least had his grandfather in his life until he died during my friend’s teen years. But I believe having that father figure kept him on the right path. My friend went on to join the Army Reserves and has been doing good things ever since.
My other childhood friend didn’t have a father figure in his life. It was always just him and his mom. He dropped out of college and sold drugs for a while. I also remember that friend always having better shoes than me and more video games. I sometimes wondered how did he have more toys than me when my family had more money than him? I think single mothers often try to compensate for the lack of fatherhood in their child’s life by striving to give their child most of their desires. But having the latest fashions and gadgets can’t replace the moral values that a father places in their child’s life.
One of the things that attracted me to Ashleigh is that she grew up with married parents. It makes a difference how women treat their man if they had a father in their life. One of the prime reasons Black relationships have issues is because one or two people didn’t have a father figure in their life. If the man didn’t then that may be why he doesn’t know how to properly love a woman. And if the woman didn’t then thats why she doesn’t know what men need and want.
We know mothers get all the credit for raising children. But I can’t stress the importance of the father. Being married is hard. Being a father is challenging. But if we want better for the Black community then it doesn’t start with owning businesses, changing policies, or getting rich. It starts with the home. When there is a father figure in the home then there is order.
Good post Cameron, you touched on important issues. I would like mention that there was a time when Black men were purposely and specifically removed/separated from the Black family unit.
Also, at a later time many Black women, as head of household, could not get financial assistance if there was an adult man in the home.