The Western culture loves the feeling of falling in love. Western culture believes that everyone should be able to experience this feeling of falling in love except for a few concepts that are illegal like romantically loving animals and people underage, but it still happens because people feel like they deserve to feel in love. In the West, you will find love between people who are 20+ years their senior and junior; you will find love triangles and other shapes, same-sex love, bestiality, pedophiles, and people in love with their family. As you see falling in love doesn’t make any sense.
Since falling in love is an uncontrollable feeling why to people judge others when they fall in love with taboo ideas. A fifty- year old man falling in love with a twenty-year-old woman is creepy, but how can we judge someone for catching feelings they have no control over? If it is illogical to follow your feelings when people fall in love with illegal practices then how is not any less illogical to fall in love with acceptable practices?
Therefore, you shouldn’t follow your feelings even if it is legal and “normal.” Either we all are going to control our feelings and only love people that are right for us, or we all get to fall in love with whoever and whatever our hearts desire.
There was a time in America when interracial love was illegal. Even in America today, interracial dating can be a problem because there is a lot of racial tension between Blacks and whites. I’m not against interracial dating but because you find yourself falling in love with a white woman doesn’t mean that it is the logical thing to pursue.
Some factors to consider when dating a white woman is:
Society’s treatment of your relationship. I know we shouldn’t let society dictate who we date, but no one can ignore the fact that society has effects on your love life. Living in Southern states may affect your relationship more than Northern or Blue states.
Family: Does you and your partner’s family struggle with prejudices and stereotypes about Black people or white people?
Neglect from your own race: Do expect for Black people and white people do treat you differently for dating outside your race. There are all kinds of stereotypes about interracial dating, and if you prove any of them then you’re going to find a lot of trouble.
Just these three examples may make someone think twice about interracial dating even if they find themselves in love. Most people think that love conquerors all, but don’t let that feeling blind you from deliberately deciding if you are willing to fight the problems that comes with interracial dating for the rest of your life. There have been plenty of white girls I found attractive and thought about dating. But when I reflect on the history of Black and white people and the drama that is still happening between us today, I rather date a beautiful Black woman who will understand me and fight for me in ways that no other woman can.
Most men fall in love with women they find highly attractive. If a man finds a woman of his dreams, then he will do anything to get her and possibly keep her. Falling in love is a euphoric high similar to the feeling you get when you’re drunk or masturbating. Your brain releases a chemical called dopamine, which causes you to feel super happy when you’re around this person.
The common idea that passionate love is essential in marriage is recently new. In her book on the history of marriage, Stephanie Coontz (2005) shows that this ideal became prevalent only about two centuries ago: “People have always fallen in love, and throughout the ages, many couples have loved each other deeply. But only rarely in history has love been seen as the main reason for getting married.” Coontz further argues that “in many cultures, love has been seen as a desirable outcome of marriage but not as a good reason for getting married in the first place.”
Throughout history people have gotten married for social status, wealth, security, to continue their family’s name, to pay off debt. At one point in time marrying someone because you felt an uncontrollable desire to be with them was looked upon as immature and nonsense.
I chose to propose to my fiancé because she proved to be loyal, honest, we share the same faith; we have similarly family backgrounds, we’re both educated and pursuing higher education. I chose characteristics that people would value for a lifetime.
My fiancé said that she knew she was in love with me after a time we cuddled. It sounded cute, but I didn’t understand how cuddling said anything about my personality, character, or capability to be a boyfriend/husband. But, I don’t think it’s meant for me to understand. Girls fall in love by how a guy makes her feel. Men fall in love by how attractive they are to a woman. Sex can be a factor for both men and women to fall in love.
Couples who are in love and are equally excited about the wedding day doesn’t say much about their chances of a successful marriage. When couples enter a marriage with an uncontrollable feeling of love they begin to question whether they made the right decision when hard times come along. They think that they were so happy before and that their marriage shouldn’t be so hard because of their in-love feelings. Or, if a person finds themselves falling in love with someone else then they wonder if they married the wrong person. They think that once they fall in love, they shouldn’t want anyone else more than the person they married.
Honestly, if I find a woman highly attractive, then I can fall in lust. If I fall in love then that is my fault because you have to get to know someone to fall in love. And, lets just say I fall in love with a woman at my church or workplace unexpectedly because all we ever did was have casual conversations that inadvertently got to learn things in common between us, then I will use my logic to know that I’m married and being with any other woman is wrong. I will use my logic to know that no matter how attractive I find another woman or how much I find in common with another woman, she is not my wife and I cannot have her. I’ll use my feelings knowing that cheating will hurt my wife and lose her trust for a very long time if not forever
If I went with my feelings, then I would have an affair or just leave my wife for the next woman I fall in love with then leave her for the next woman I fall in love with. If I fall in love with a married woman should I believe that we’re meant to be, although she already made a commitment? If I fall in love with a seventeen-year-old girl should society accept my feelings since I can’t control them.? See, falling in love only makes sense when it is considered normal. Two people who are legal of age and none of them is seen as a cougar or sugar daddy to the other.
At the end of the day, just because you fell in love with someone doesn’t mean you have to pursue a relationship with them, but most of us do. Falling in love with someone doesn’t mean that they’re good for you, but most people pursue that in love feeling and ignore the red flags. As well, you can meet someone who is right for you and not fall in love, but most people leave that person thinking that if they’re not in love then it isn’t meant to be.
Couples who fall in love and turn out to be good for each other look like a match made in heaven in the beginning. Eventually, they’ll fall out of love and they won’t always be good for each other. When people’s feelings change usually, their actions change right along with it. That is why you have to know how to control your actions and conscious of your emotional changes, choose to love your spouse when you’re not feeling it.