If you’re like me then once in your dating life you met a girl, got really excited about your potential new date, and asked the girl out to dinner within a week of knowing her. Also, if you’re like me then you think of dinner dates as a chance to get to know someone and not as a marriage proposal.
Some women think that when a man buys them dinner then they’re saying that they instantly want to enter into a dating relationship with them. Of course, somewhere in our intentions is the intention of dating. I know that I would never buy a girl dinner if I have no interest in dating her. But, when I first take a girl out to dinner I am saying that I want quality time to get to know her more.
I had to learn the hard way that I should not take a woman out to dinner until I feel comfortable that the relationship has dating potential. A couple of years ago there was this cute girl that I worked with. I told her I wanted to take her out to dinner. She thought the gesture was sweet but suggested that we instead, meet up with a group of friends. My intentions were to take her out to get to know her better. Apparently, she thought that I wanted to date her, which I hoped for eventually, but not as quickly as it seemed.
My second lesson was about a month ago when I met a girl on an online dating website. We texted for about a week before I invited her out to dinner. I invited her to The Cheesecake Factory, which was an expensive restaurant because I wanted to look impressive. What ended up happening was we went to dinner, had a good conversation, hanged out for about thirty minutes afterward, then she asked me to drop her off at her apartment because she was scheduled to meet up with her friends later that night.
About a week after the dinner she texted me saying that she gets the impression that I want to date and that she doesn’t want to lead me on. I think she knew that she wasn’t serious about dating from the beginning but decided that she would get a free meal anyway. Then again, I cannot be mad because if I took her out to eat just to meet up and get to know her then I am wrong for feeling disappointed and used that she isn’t looking for dating? Even if she did want to date, I realized that I was a fool for choosing an expensive restaurant for the first date because I could have decided that at the end of the date I was not as attracted to her as I thought I would be.
For a first date, I suggest starting with something cost efficient like Starbucks or get a group of friends together to go bowling. A group setting is a good first strategy to meet because if you feel like you do not have much chemistry with that person then at least you can leave the scene without leaving your date alone. Since I am an introvert and I have only a handful of best friends I feel more comfortable having a one on one date. But, my next first date will be more cost efficient like meeting for coffee.
Another suggestion is to not put any woman on a pedistal no matter how much common interests you have with her. The girl I took out to dinner was college education with a degree in Journalism, which is similar to my English: Writing degree, she was a Christian, grew up in a two parent home, and had siblings. I felt that this girl was a great match for me, but we stopped communicating not too long after our first date.
I cannot say specifically when the best time to buy a girl dinner is. Some men bought a girl dinner on the first date and that led to marriage. I can only suggest to treat the girl according to her worth. Get to know her first through cost efficient dates and the more interests she shows in you then the more extravagant dates you should take her on.