In 2Chain’s and Lil Wayne’s new song “Smell Like Money,” 2 Chains quotes that he isn’t afraid of anything except God and marriage. Like 2 Chains, I also have a fear of God and marriage. Albeit, my fear of God and marriage isn’t the same. My fear of God is an awe type of fear. A kind of fear that I would rather serve God than to deny Him. My fear for marriage is a run away as far as I can from it.
Most Christians would argue that a mature Christian cannot fear God and marriage no more than a mature Christian can serve both God and money. Marriage is one of the most popular subjects in Christianity. Marriage represents the covenant between Jesus and the Church, the ultimate showcase of love and selflessness. Marriage is so significant in the church that church members assume that my girlfriend is my wife even though neither one of us wear a wedding ring.
I envy people my age who are married and in love, and how they make love and marriage seem so feasible. I often wonder why is loving someone so hard for me to do, why is marriage such a difficult decision? Why do I have a hard time committing even if I do not owe anything or anyone a commitment? I know that no matter who I marry that there will always be someone out there better than what I have. Commitment is easy if you never meet someone who you think has more to offer you. I fear that I will make a commitment and then meet someone else and wonder if I would have waited I could have had this person.
But, it is illogical to believe that you can just go through life always leaving what you have for something that you think is better whether it be a relationship or something materialistic. The first car I bought was a 2004 Mercedes Benz CLK 320. This car had everything I could want. Coupe, big rims, premium sound system, tinted windows, wood grain, V6. I thought it was the perfect car for me, but I hated the car because it constantly had mechanical issues. I never got to enjoy the car because I constantly had to put it in the shop and spend about $5,000 total to fix various problems, and there were still numerous mechanical issues to fix after all of that.
I traded that car in for a 2014 Ford Fusion S model. Having the basic model of a Ford gave me more pleasure and comfort than a luxurious Mercedes Benz. The same for my relationships. Just because I see someone later in life that seems like a good catch and has some better traits than the person I committed to, it doesn’t mean that I should have waited. First of all, this saying is cliché but stays true; the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Choosing to be with someone you know you can trust is better than going for someone that has more bells and whistles, but isn’t built for the long haul.
America has given us a weird view of marriage. Because of Disney’s perspective on love, we’re expected to fall in love at first sight to know that the person we’re with is the one we should marry. Western culture tells us that marriage is all about attraction and feelings rather than trust and values. Western culture is having trust and values in a relationship necessary, but if there isn’t intense attraction for one another, then that isn’t the person to marry.
I have never met a woman who has as much of a desire for me as my girlfriend. She unconditionally loves me. She loves me even when I don’t think I deserve her love. I believe her love and commitment to me are longer lasting than believing in Western culture that the person I’m meant to marry is someone I’m infatuated with.